FACIAL CARE - ZAMU YA WANAUME

Men usually don’t care about their skin. It’s a simple fact. They tend to think they are made from an indestructible material, and that their skin is made of iron. And so, they go on in life, shaving everyday, standing in extreme weather on our vacations, and eating junk food. But hey, our skin is actually deteriorating each passing day, and it’s not a matter of attitude, “machismo”, or whatever you’d like to call it. It’s a matter of health. And in today’s world men facial care is even a matter of social life. You may not know this, but you men, have very sensitive skin. But what is most disturbing is that most men also ignore this, or they do not take proper action.

So what is proper action?

There are certain habits to take in consideration when you start caring about your facial skin care. Here are some tips that will help you get started in men facial care:

* Drink water, a lot. Water is good for overall health; it is a common advice to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.

* Buy vitamin supplements. To have a healthy skin you should include in your diet multi-vitamins. Particularly helpful to your skin is the Vitamin E.

* Exfoliate your face twice a week. Exfoliation helps removing the dead cells on your facial skin, the result will be a skin free of impurities.

* Protect yourself from the sun. Keep in mind doing it in a healthy way, for example if you’re staying too much time outdoors with a hot weather. Don’t use too much, because sun blockers contain chemicals. Nowadays even some moisturizers have sun protection. Remember this is all men facial care basic stuff. People have different skin types that have their own issues. You should visit your doctor if you notice anything strange in your skin. However this tips will help you in having a healthier, better looking skin. Bottom line is, start taking care. The web has plenty of information regarding these issues and is a good place to start.

LOVEMAKING TIPS

The top 5 female erogenous zones

The neck
Apart from being sexy and attractive, the female neck is perhaps one of the most sensitive areas of her body. Softly kissing this area from her shoulder to below her ear (while at the same time massaging it with your tongue will send tingles and pulses up and down her spine. Keep at it and she will be breathing heavily in a very short period of time.

The ear lobes
Sucking ear lobes isn't for everyone. Some girls get the tickles when you do it but others simply adore it. While you're there you can whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Close facial contact is what she likes so this is a good way to do it if you're fed up with kissing on the lips. Also massaging her ear lobes with your fingers from time to time can be very soothing.

The nipples
On a par with the neck for sensitivity, the female nipples become hard and sit up right when stimulated with your tongue. Don't forget to give both breasts even attention and also kiss down in between her breasts as you work your way between both of them. If she hasn't grabbed your head by this stage and held it into her bosom, something's badly wrong.

The belly button
Working your way down her body, the belly button is another area you should stimulate before full intercourse. Kissing this area with your lips and tongue will cause vibrations that will vibrate through her reproductive area and begin to stimulate her G spot.

The G Spot
Ah the G spot. This holy grail legend of the female anatomy can be tricky to find. So if the chance arises, ask her if she has already found her G spot and let her point you in the right direction.
As a general guide, most female G spots can be found on the roof of the vagina (that's the side closest to her stomach.). It's about the size and shape of a 2 pence coin and can be found about 4 inches in.
Extreme caution should be taken when stimulating this area with your tongue or fingers as a female can quite literally lose control of her limbs. Don't be surprised if you get kneed in the face or get elbowed as she moans in ecstasy. It should also be noted that not all females have a G spot, so don't be alarmed if you both can't find it. As you have seen there are plenty of other areas of the female body that can be stimulated in the art of love making in order to help her climax.

Doing a combination of all these things will leave her begging for more and you will be a better lover for it. Experimentation is the key to find out what works and what doesn't as everyone is not the same.
As you can see, a true female orgasm involves the stimulation of her whole body and not just simple penetration. Taking the time to show care and attention to her needs will put you so far above any other lovers, she may have had that you may find it tricky escaping from the bed. I know I have ;-)

I hope this article helps your love life get back on track and that you become better and more confident at making love and not just having sex. Above all else, if you want to become a better lover, ask your partner what they like and what they want you to do to them. Not only will you help them get their rocks off quicker, you'll also show that you are thinking about their needs and they in turn will think about yours. This will create a much better experience than if both parties are concentrating on what each can get out of the experience in a very selfish way.
Until next time.

SPECIAL DEDICATION-LOVE LETTER

I just want one more day with you by Cyndi
I'm so sad and depressed, Is all I want to do is rest. I go to sleep at night But my dreams I just can't fight. I think of you lying in that bed and wonder if there is anything I could have said. I wish you were still here But I know that you are still near. I love you more than you know, I just wish you didn't have to go. I just want one more day with youAnd I know thats what you would have wanted tooI miss you more and more each day, there is so much more we had to say. I know I will see you again but my life is just started to begin.
Every moment spent with you is like a beautiful dream come true...
My favorite place to be is inside of your hugs where it's warm and loving. I Love You! Kiss me and you shall see stars, love me and I'll give them to you.
I love you with everything I am, and more than anyone ever thought possible...
You may not be here with me... But thoughts of you are always in my heart... I Miss You!

From Cydi to Chriss.....

USAFI WA MAENEO MUHIMU- MDAU AENDELEZA MADA YAKE

Jinsi ya kusafisha Uke wako!

Awali nilikuwa nikidhani kuwa kila mwanamke anapaswa na anafahamu jinsi ya kujisafisha ndani ya uke mara tu baada ya kuondolewa bikira (kuanza mahusiano ya kimapenzi na hatimae ngono), lakini nimekuja kugundua ukweli kwamba wanawake wengi hawajui uke unasafishwa vipi?

Baadhi huofia kuwashwa na sabuni na wengine hudhani utokwaji wa utoko ni kawaida hivyo hawana budi kuacha kama ilivyo na badala yake hutumia “pads” ndogo au “wipes” zenye manukato ili kuzuia harufu/shombo ya uke na vilevile kuzuia uchafukwaji wa “vyupi” vyao.

Huitaji kuficha(Bali punguza) harufu ya asilia ya uke kwa kutumia bidhaa zenye mahukato hasa ukiwa na mpenzi wako kwani hiyo harufu ndio uanamke wenyewe na ikikutana na ile ya kiume ndio raha ya kufanya mapenzi na ikiwa mpenzi wako ni “aliyejaaliwa” atakuwa akiipenda harufu hiyo na hubaki akilini mwake hali inayoweza kumfanya akupende zaidi au kutoweza kufanya ngono na mtu mwingine bali wewe.

Hujawahi kusikia wanaume wanashindwa kutoka (date) wanawake wengine baada ya wapenzi wao kufariki dunia? Au mwanaume kushindwa kuendelea na maisha yake ya kimapenzi bila wewe na matokeo yake hata mkiachana lazima atarudi tu kwako….sababu moja wapo ni hiyo.

Kujiswafi ili kupunguza ukali wa shombo/harufu ya uanamke:Utoko hujikusanya ikiwa mwili umetulia (usiku) hivyo hakikisha unajisafisha kila asubuhi kabla hujaanza kuoga.Kwa wale tunaoishi Bongo wengi tunatumia maji ambayo usalama wake ni wa utata, sasa ili kuepuka maambukizo hakikisha maji ya kujisafishia sehemu zako za siri yamechemshwa vizuri. Unaweza kutenganisha maji ya kuoga na ya kusafishia uke ukitaka.

*Kabla hujaguza uke wako hakikisha umesafisha mikono yako vizuri kwa sabuni (ukiweza tumia sabuni yenye dawa) na wakati huo huo pitisha sabuni juu ya uke wako ili kuondoa vijidudu kama vilikuwepo, safisha mahali hapo(juu ya uke kwa maji na hakikisha hakuna sabuni).

*Kisha kwa kutumia kidole chako cha kati, ingiza taratibu pale ambapo uume unaingia, kwa kuanzia huitaji kwenda mbali sana. Zunguusa kidole hicho taratibu huku ukijimwagia maji kwa kutumia mkono wa pili, kisha kitoe (kitatoka na weupe mzito) safisha kidole na maji yako.

*Rudia tena na sasa kiingize ndani zaidi na ukizunguushe tena (huku ukijimwagia maji) na kukitoa utaona “utoko” mwingi zaidi kidoleni, rudia hatua hizo mpaka uhakikishe kidole kinatoka bila weupe(utoko) na utahisi hali ya usafi, hakuna utelezi.

Unapojimwagia maji ukeni huku kidole kiko ndani maji huingia pia ukeni na ndio maana mwishoni kabisa utahisi umesafishika vema kabisa na utoko huo hautotoka tena siku nzima na uke wako hautokuwa na shombo kali kama ambavyo siku zote ambazo ulikuwa hujisafishi.

Kwa wale wanaotumia “bath” au “shower” unafanya kama nilivyoeleza ila tofauti ni kuwa maji yataingia vizuri zaidi ikiwa unapata “bath” hivyo hakikisha “bath” sio ya kuchangia, maji ni salama(safi), usiweke sabuni (bath cream) au bidhaa yoyote yenye kemikali kwenye “bath” yako ili kuepuka matatizo ya kiafya na maambukizo mengine.

WANAUME MNA VIJIMAMBO

WATAFITI WA MAPENZI MPO??

Mimi nauliza je haya nayo ni mapenzi ya dhati au mateso ya mapenzi?

NUKUU YA LEO

MEN are all the same - no matter what species !!!

Jinsi ya kuita Utamu a.k.a Kilele a.k.a O a.k.a.....

Kama ambavyo wengi tunatambua kuwa sehemu kubwa (asilimia 99.5) ya kufurahia ngono ni Mapenzi ya kweli juu ya mpenzi wako ikisaidiwa na utundu wako wewe mwenyewe manamke na sio mwanaume japokuwa baadhi ya wanawake hutegemea wanaume wawafanyie kila kitu mpaka kuwafikishe.

Wakati mwingine wanaume huchoka kwa vile kwa kawaida wanawake tunachukua muda mrefu zaidi kufikia mshindo ukilinganisha na wanaume, kwamba mwanamke anafika ndani ya dakika 10-15 wakati mwanaume anafika ndani ya dakika 1-5 unless awe anajua kujizuia nahapo ndio atakwenda mpaka dakika 45 na baadhi huondoka zaidi ya hapo kutokana na kutosisimuliwa vilivyo (yaani akikupanda hamalizi mpaka uke unakauka na wewe hamu inakuishia) hahahahaha!

Well, back to topic......

Mbinu ya kuita kilele sio ngumu kama wengi mlivyokuwa mkifikiria/dhania bali ni ya kawaida sana na utashangaa ni jinsi gani inafanya kazi, na ikiwa umebahatika kuwa na mwanaume mwenye uwezo wa kujizuia basi unaweza kupiga 3 ktk mzunguuko wa kwanza.

Unapokuwa ukifanya mapenzi hakikisha akili yako yote iko kwenye kufanya mapenzi, sio lazima umfikirie mpenzi wako bali unaweza kufikiria chochote kitakacho kufanya "unyegetuke" zaidi wakati "mzigo" uko ndani ya uke sio.

Mfano unaweza kumuuliza mpenzi wako akuambie anafanya nini in rude way, au kama anakujua vizuri basi anaweza akaanza kusifia Uke wako ulivyo, anavopenda kukufanya n.k (wengine nasikia huomba kutukaniwa wazazi wao.....hey it works 4 them so jaribu na wewe)

Jinsi jamaa anavyokufanya wewe pia msaidie.......well jisaidie na hakikisha unahangaika kupata "kipele" (mahali unaposikia raha zaidi pakiguswa), ukisha hisi mwambie atulie hapo hapo na wewe anza kufanya "makaratee" zunguusha kiuno chako ktk pembe zote (badilisha mirindimo) na wakati unafanya hivyo hakikisha unabana pumzi na kuiachia papo kwa hapo (hakikisha huiachii kwa muda mrefu yani in sec unabana na kuiachia).

Psssssssssssi: Sometimes u have 2 be a little selfish ei? Wanaume wakibana pumzi wanachelewa kufika lakini mwanamke ukibana pumzi unawahi kufika.....hii ni kutokana na uzoefu na nime-share na baadhi ya wanawake na wamefanikiwa kufurahia ngono.

Karibu sana na kila la kheri ktk jaribio hili.

Samahani kwa kuchangaya lugha 2 kwa mpigo.

Wako mdau wa malavidavi....

MSAADA WA MAPENZI

I’ve been seeing a quy for 2 1/2 years now. We’ve both said “I love you” and your are my “soulmate”. The problem is, he has also been in and out of a relationship with another woman for 27 years. He has cheated on her many times. I know what you will tell me. Get rid of him. We fight all the time over the “other woman”. He says he doesn’t want to hurt her. He says he will tell her when he’s sure our relationship will work. He wants to get back to all the good times. I’ve tried to tell him thay I can’t get back there unless I get a complete commitment from him. I can’t get the other woman out of my mind. It’s always there. Am I crazy?

Answer: (Realize I am a man) You are most likely allowing your emotions to do your thinking, understandably so, but you need to use your brain. You fight because of your insecurity in the relationship. You are insecure, because you do not have a commitment. True love commits, it does not leave the fire escape open. You will have conflicts in any relationship, that is because each partner is imperfect. It is through love and maturity that you get beyond those issues. So he says that he does not want to hurt her? Excuses, excuses, so he would rather hurt you instead? And he says he wants to make sure it will work with you? How can it work with you when he is two timing you? Do not sacrifice your self respect for someone who does not respect you. Do not allow yourself to be played, and do not give any man the honey until you have been married. Many guys will take the honey if you give it, and then like a bear, only come around again for more honey.

UKWELI KUHUSU PESA NA MAHUSIANO

MTAZAMO: Mtu na mpenzi wake hawapaswi kuzungumzia masuala ya pesa kwa sababu mara nyingi husababisha malumbano au ugomvi.

UKWELI: Mtu yeyote hawezi kuwa na uhusiano mzuri wa kimapenzi kama hawawezi kukaa pamoja kuongelea na kukubaliana masuala ya kifedha.

ANGALIZO: Wanaume na wanawake wako tofauti sana kwa jinsi wanavyochukulia suala la fedha kwenye mahusiano.

Karibuni kwa mchango wenu wa mawazo... Shukrani sana

8 Tips to Get Him to Notice You in 10 Days

1. Stop playing hard to get.A guy likes a girl who has got it going on, but if you want to find love in 10 days and you're not around, it isn't going to happen. Being unavailable seems rigid and high-maintenance. If he throws out a time that doesn't work for you, either say yes to the next option or propose a date of your own. If you won't make time early on in the relationship, single men take it to mean you definitely won't make time later.

2. Be attentive: This is not the time to text. Conversation is like kissing. It's a two-way street, and those roads are meant to be shared. Be sure to ask questions, answer questions thoughtfully, and engage in conversation. Make eye contact, and please, please, please put your cell phone away.

3. Try something new. It's usually the man's responsibility to make the date fun, and that puts a lot of pressure on us. So even if you don't like the activity we've picked out, go along for the ride with an open mind and positive attitude.

4. Let your guard down. Past relationships and bad blind dates may have made you jaded, but don't assume this guy "is just like all the rest." And not that you would, but under no circumstances should you bring up your guy woes around the new object of your affection.

5. Stop texting and no one will get hurt. Don't be that girl who communicates only via abbreviated words and emoticons -- and don't let him be that guy. When you're starting to date someone, texting, emailing, or instant messaging should be used in emergencies only (like when you lose him at an insanely crowded, loud concert).

6. Know the power of your outfit. We all buy into the latest fashion trends, but your goal with your date is to lure him in. Men want to see you in something that shows off your figure but isn't sleazy, which sends a message of desperation. Another sign of desperation is looking like you tried too hard. Guys aren't lying when they say they want a girl who can roll out of bed and still look gorgeous.

7. TMI is never a good thing. Sharing too much too soon can be easily misconstrued. Anecdotes and good conversation are always a plus, but when talking about yourself, leave out unnecessary details. On the list of forbidden topics: exes, family plans, and anything else that could send him heading for the hills.

8. Keep him wanting more. No matter how well a first date is going, be sure it doesn't run into the wee hours of the morning.

RELATIONSHIP TEST 1

This test helps you to test how much your love relationship is faithful with your loved one.

1. Your partner likes talking with you. No/Yes
2. He/she cancels plans when partners buds to be with you. No/Yes
3. Your partner was nervous When he met your family. No/Yes
4. Your partner gives you gift on some important days like birthdays and Valentine's Day. No/Yes
5. Both of You have a shared vocabulary. No/Yes
6. Your partner call you with your nick name. No/Yes
7. Is it true that your partner taking care in public places? No/Yes
8. Is it your partner taking care of your health? No/Yes
9. Chronically late is your partners life style? No/Yes
10. Is it your partner remember doctor's appointment at time when you are seek? No/Yes

MKE KUMZIDI MUME KIPATO NI TATIZO?

Ikiwa kama ijumaa ningependa kuanza kwa kuuliza swali hili; Ikiwa mkeo ana kazi nzuri zaidi yako na kipato chake ni kikubwa zaidi yako, je hili lina uhusiano wowote na matatizo kwenye ndoa?

Nina ndugu ambaye kwa mtizamo wake anasema ikiwa mke kakuzidi kipato sikuzote atataka kumyanyasa mume wake.. Bahati mbaya au nzuri pia kapata mchumba mwenye kipato juu yake. Sasa yuko njia panda hajui afanye nini na kumpenda ana mpenda...

Wadau ushauri unahitajika..

MDAU ALONGA NA BLOG. Umbo lako wakati wa tendo la ngono

Natambua kila mwanamke “anamkao” wake anaupenda wakati wa kufanya ngono/mapenzi, na baadhi yetu huwa tunapenda “mikao” hiyo kwa vile ni rahisi kuifanya na inatufikisha haraka kileleni. Lakini kumbuka kuwa kufika kileleni kunategemea zaidi akili na mawazo wako(yalipo wakati huo).

Sasa wengi hunakimbilia “mikao” mirahisi kwa sababu akili yako inakuwa imetulia kwamba hunawasiwasi kama umepatia “makao” huo, kwa mfano; wanawake ambao wanamatiti madogo na wanajua fika kuwa wapenzi wao wanapenda makubwa hupata taabu ikiwa watajiweka ktk “mkao” wa kifo cha mende(mwanaume juu).

Wale wenye matumbo makubwa huofia kumuondolea hamu mpenzi ikiwa yeye mwanamke atakuwa juu (kifo cha mende), hali kadhalika kwa wale wenye matako bapa huofia kubong’oa (mbuzi kagoma) wakihofia wapenzi wao kutofurahia mandhari n.k.

Ila ukweli ni kuwa mpenzi wako akikupenda anakuwa amekupenda jinsi ulivyo(hata kama alikupendea tabia ni wazi kuwa itambidi apende na vingine kwasababu ndivyo vinakufanya uwe wewe na sio yule) hivyo huna haja ya kutojiamini unapofanya nae mapenzi, swala lingine ni kuwa unapokuwa mtundu kitandani na mwepezi ktk mchezo akili yake inakuwa kwenye kufurahia na sio kukuchunguza ulivyoumbwa.

Ninachojaribu kusema ni kuwa haijalishi umeumbwa vipi au umeumbikaje, unapokuwa na mpenzi wako jaribu kufanya mikao angalau minne ktk mzunguuko mmoja, ikiwa mpenzi wako anaweza kujizuia kwa muda wa nusu saa tu na kitendo cha kubadilisha “mikao” kinamfanya amwage haraka au apoteze “ugumu” basi hakuna haja ya kubadili “mikao”, fanyeni huo mmoja mpaka wote mmemaliza.

Lakini kama wewe unae yule anaeweza kujizuia kwa dakika arobaini na tano hadi saa nzima hapo “nswalu”, fanyeni “mikao” ya kutosha ktk mzunguuko mmoja kisha mizunguuko itakayo fuata mnaweza mkafanya mkao mmoja-mmoja mpaka mzimie (mchoke).

Nia na madhumuni ni kuzoesha mwili wako na vilevile kukusaidia wewe mwanamke kukaza misuli hasa ile ya tumbo, mapaja na matako. Natambua kuwa ni ngumu kufanya ngono kwa kubadilisha mikao zaidi ya miwili ktk mzunguuko wa kwanza kwa vile mwili wako haujazoea kufanya mazoezi (sio lazima ushiriki gym) unaweza kufanya mazoezi ya kawaida tu nyumbani kwako kila siku asubuhi na jioni na utakuwa sawa ktk jambo ninalozungumzia.

WANAUME WANAHITAJI NINI KATIKA MAPENZI

Question: What are the biggest mistakes women make in understanding what men need to feel loved?

Answer: I think the thing women don't understand about men is that no matter how unemotional-seeming a man is, he actually is very emotional. Men are trained not to act emotional, and they're not even trained how to express themselves emotionally. But even the most unexpressive man actually has a lot of feelings and he needs support and tenderness. And, in fact, even though women don't want this to be true, it is the case that men who are married take a lot of pleasure and get a lot of self-esteem from whether they're wanted sexually by their wives, and also, from whether they are able to give their wives and receive a lot of really good sexual pleasure.

Question: At what point in a relationship should my partner and I consider relationship counseling?

Answer: You'll know you need relationship counseling if you find yourself thinking about the other person and assuming that they're purposely trying to bug you and thinking angry things about them in your head and having a relentless negative monologue about what a jerk they are. And if you're doing that, you absolutely need to go to couples counseling and you need to do it as soon as you can.

HOW TO MAKE A MAN AND WOMAN HAPPY

How Men can Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend2. a companion3. a lover4. a brother5.. a father 6. a master7. a chef

8. an electrician9. a carpenter10. a plumber 11. a mechanic12. a decorator

13.. a stylist 14. a sexologist15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23.. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26.. warm

27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative32. tender

33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37.. ambitious

38. capable 39. courageous 40. Determined! 41. true 42. dependable

43.. passionate 44. compassionateWITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich

49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girlsAND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget:* birthdays* anniversaries * arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring Alcohol

have a nice wkend wapendwa... Ila mbona hamtoi maoni???

MDAU ALONGA NA BLOG YA MALAVIDAVI

Mambo kadhaa yakumfanyia mwenza wako kumsaidia kuvishinda vishawishi! Kila mwanaume anapaswa kujua nini kinachomfanya mwanamke/msichana apagawe kunako sita kwa sita, hali kadhalika mwanamke anapaswa kufahamu mambo kadha wa kadhaa ambayo akimfanyia mwenza wake atamfanya avishinde vishawishi vya kumsaliti. Hii inamaanisha nini?
Inamaanisha kuwa, kila mwanaume na mwanamke anapaswa kufahamu jinsi gani wanaume walivyo tofauti na wanawake.
Mwanamke anapaswa kufahamu kwamba wanaume huamsha hisia za mapenzi kutokana na kile wanachokiona. Hivyo pindi anapoona msichana mwenye shepu akiwa amevaa nguo inayoiweka shepu yake bayana, ghafla hisia kali za mapenzi humjia, hata kama anajua baadhi ya utu ama tabia zake mbaya.
Kuona tu jinsi binti alivyoumbika, hiyo ni tosha kwake kumfanya ahitaji kuwa naye faragha na hapo ndipo atakapoanza kupigana na mhemuko wa mwili wake kujizuia kuingia katika kishawishi cha kufanya ngono na mrembo aliyemuona.
Kwa upande mwingine, wanaume wanapaswa kufahamu kwamba wanawake wapo tofauti. Hisia za mapenzi za mwanamke huamka pindi mwanaume anapomtimizia mahitaji yake ya moyo wake. Huhisi kupagawa pindi anapokutana na mtu ambaye anaweka kipaumbele mawasiliano baina yao na kujali hisia ama mawazo yake.
Kwa mwanamke muelewa mara nyingi muonekano wenye mvuto pekee kwake haumuingizi kwenye vishawishi kwa kiasi kikubwa kama ilivyo kwa wanaume. Kitu pekee kwake kinachoamsha hisia zake za mapenzi kwa haraka zaidi ni kuwa na mwanaume anayeongea naye, kumsikiliza, kuthamini mawazo yake, na kufikiria mahitaji yake muhimu. Pindi mwanaume wa aina hii anapomwambia “ Nakupenda..muache mumeo tutumia usiku wa leo pamoja,” huhitaji kutumia busara na hekima kuweza kuvishinda vishawishi vya kutoa penzi kwa mwanaume wa aina hiyo!
Aidha, watu wengi walio katika mahusiano hujikuta wakikumbwa na matatizo kadha wa kadha wawapo faragha kwa sababu tu mwanaume na mwanamke hawajui tofauti iliyopo baina ya mwanaume na mwanamke. Mfano, mwanamke anaweza kupanda kitandani akiwa amevaa pajama ambalo halioneshi shepu yake huku mwanaume akitamani kumuona mpenzi wake akiwa amevalia nguo ya usiku inayomtia hamasa ya mapenzi ama kumuona akiwa hajavaa chochote! Anahitaji kumuona mpenzi wake vema hivyo kumuona akiwa katika vazi lisilompa nafasi hiyo kunamkwaza.
Hapa kosa kubwa lipo miongoni mwa wanawake wengi ni kuwa “ Ameshaniona mwili wangu zaidi ya mara 1000.” Hivyo kwao kumpa nafasi mwenza wake kuuona mwili wake hakuna umuhimu.
Kimsingi wanawake wa namna hii ndio mara nyingi hujikuta waume zao pindi wanaporejea nyumbani huishia sebuleni na kusoma gazeti. Anajihisi kuchoka, hahitaji mkewe ama mtoto amsumbue na akikalibishwa mezani kwaajili ya chakula huongea maneno yasiyozidi kumi.
Hufanya haya yote si kwa sababu anamchukia mkewe la hasha bali hugeuka kuwa mbinafsi anayetaka kutumia muda wake kujipumzisha na kufikiria mahitaji yake na si ya mwenza wake.
Hatua hiyo ikijitokeza baina ya wapendanao mambo huharibika, hamasa ya mapenzi kwa mmoja wao hutoweka kwani inapofika wakati wa kwenda kujipumzisha kitandani. Mwanaume anapomuona mwenza wake akitoka bafuni akiwa na kanga moja iliyomshika vema maungo yake, mapigo ya moyo na damu humuenda mbio akitamani kumkumbatia bibie ili apate kitu roho inapenda!
Wakati mwanaume akiwaza hayo, mambo huwa tofauti kwa mwanamke kwani hutawaliwa na maswali kadhaa kama “ Hivi ni kweli ananipenda? Namashaka. Haongei nami wala kunisaidia kwa lolote. Anachotaka ni kunitumia kama chombo cha starehe tu huyu.”
Hivyo basi, mwanamke atamuachia mwenza wake mwili autumie atakavyo kutimiza haja zake, lakini hatafika kilele kamwe kwani hatahisi anapendwa bali anatumiwa kama chombo cha starehe.
Hata hivyo, pindi mwanaume atakapokuwa akijipa raha toka kwa mwenza wake huyo, atatawaliwa na woga kwa sababu ataona wazi kuwa bibie hafurahii tendo la ndoa. Hivyo atajiuliza maswali mengi “ Kwa nini nimeshindwa kumpagawisha mamaa? Je, nyeti yangu ni ndogo?”
Hapa ndipo mwanamke anapotakiwa kumueleza bayana kuwa, “ Uume wako upo sawa ila mawasiliano yako kwangfu ni finyu.”
Kimsingi mwanaume anaporudi toka kazini anapaswa kuzungumza na mwenza wake, kujenga urafiki naye, kumuoneshe kuwa anamjali na kuthamini utu wake na usimfanye ajione kama mtu baki.
Aidha, mwanaume anapaswa kumueleza mwenza wake kuwa, “ Unapokuwa kwenye jumuia, vaa nguo ambazo hazitaamsha hisia za mapenzi kwa watu baki, lakini unapokuwa nyumbani hakikisha unavaa nguo hizo kwaajili yangu tu.”
Kufanya hivyo kutamueleza mumeo kuwa, “unampenda yeye tu na wanaume wengine hawana nafasi katika moyo wako!
Mwisho nimalize kwa kusema kuwa, wanawake huamsha hisia za mapenzi kwa wanaume ambao huyapa kipaumbele mawasiliano, lakini mawasiliano hayo humpagawisha zaidi yakiwa ya kirafiki zaidi (fanya kama unawasiliana na rafiki yako, usiogope kumchombeza na utani inapobidi) na pia hukoshwa na wanaume wanaowajali.
Kwa upande wa mwanaume, yeye hisia zake huamka pindi anapoona shepu (wapo wanaopenda wenye figa za kibantu na wengine za kimiss).
Hivyo, kama mmefanikiwa kupata watoto wa wa kike hakikisheni mnawaeleza kuwa, nguo za aina fulani huamsha hisia za mapenzi kwa wanaume, kwa hivyo waache kuzivaa nyumbani hata mitaani kujiepusha na vishawishi.

Shukrani kwa mdau aliyetulitea makala hii...

Quiz of the Day

Would you marry / date someone who can't / wont keep a job?

Msaada wa malavidavi

Habari dada,

Mimi ni kijana mwenye umri wa miaka 40, na nilikuwa nimeoa kwa miaka 10 ila sikubahatika kupata mtoto, na ndoa yangu haikudumu na ikapelekea mimi kuachana na mke wangu. Sababu kubwa ni kwamba nilimfumania mke wangu na mwanaume mwingine hotelini wakiwa katika shughuli za kimahaba. Roho iliniuma sana na ikapelekea mimi kumfukuza mke wangu na kuachana nae. Kwa sasa nina mwaka mmoja tangu tuachane,ila kuna wakati huwa namkumbuka sana mke wangu.

Hivi majuzi mke wangu kanipigia akiniomba msamaha na kwamba angependa kurudi kwangu tuishi pamoja maana bado ananipenda. Dada mimi niko njia panda maana sielewi nimjibu nini kwa kipindi hiki, je nimruhusu arudi au nimkatalie? Tafadhali naomba wadau wanishauri maana niko njia panda. Kumpenda bado nampenda ila sijasahau alivyonitenda...

Tafadhali wekajina langu kapuni..

Asante sana dada....

Maswali muhimu katika mahusiano

Wapendwa wadau, leo ningependa tujiulize na kujikumbusha vitu vitatu ambavyo kwangu mimi naona ni muhimu kwenye mapenzi. Mara nyingi binadamu tunapenda kulaumu bila kujiuliza sababu za penzi kuporomoka, hivyo basi napenda kuwajulisha vitu vitatu ambavyo vinaweza kuchangia penzi lenu kuwa imara kila siku.

1. Muulize mpenzi wako ni vitu gani usivyopenda?

2. Ni kipindi gani tulifurahia pamoja na kwa sababu gani?

3. Ni wapi unadhani tunaelekea?